SLTM_CC#9....Step Control

2014-04-22

 

Do you like receiving a letter? Not Email, hand writing letter?
How exciting and what a romantic to get it….
Then what about Dear John Letter?
Totally different feeling, ya?

Tonight I’d like to talk about my Dear John letter story.

I got it exactly 1 year after I joined the army.
At that time she was so important to me and the letter seemed like death sentence to me.
During the 1 year, the first year of Army, whenever I had hard time I thought about her and wrote a letter to her. And that writing letters to her was a huge relief for me.
She was the most important person to me……

I thought if she meets me just one more time then she could change her mind.
So I had to do something to hold her back.
I couldn’t just let her go…..
But I was in army…long distance from her and could not come to see her…
How can I do…What can I do…

And finally one plan came out to my mind.
The plan was breaking out the army base, escaping from my barrack to Seoul to meet her.
At that time I was crazy enough not to think anything but her…

But how?

At that time in my company there was “overnight staying out” at weekend.
And the very next Saturday, my squads turn.

I got out of my army base easily but the problem was boundary area.
I was not allowed to go further than 원주 city. My outing was only inside of the city.
If I caught by MP, military police, I had to be thrown into military jail and the time in jail was not counted as a military service due…
But my squad leader bravely let me go to meet my girl because he also had same experience….
"Sir, I will come back here before our squad going back to barrack, really thank you for trusting me"
and he said "listen up, if you caught by MP, whole of our squad would be questioned, got it?
Yes, Sir, I know, then I would say that I was escaped against you.
Don’t worry, take care your girl.

I took train from 원주 to 청량리.
Luckily not much MP were showing around and at 청량리 station....I directly took an underground subway from train station to avoid MP.

Finally, I was in the front of her house at about 9 p.m.
I had one smoking there....but my confidence which I thought "I can change her mind when I meet her again" was somewhat vanished like the vanishing smoke in the air.

I ranged her....
"Hey, It is me, I am here to see you, Can I meet you?"
she did ask how come I was here..... she just said...."at the Cafe we met before...."
I said "Okay, waiting for you..."

When she came in the café where I was waiting, I saw her eyes.
Her eyes were not looking around trying to find me where I was, rather her face was looking down to avoid my eyes…
I sensed something coldness.
Then I knew......
I was in her history…..I could not change it.
Then I knew It was useless to try hold her back…She had already left far away…into the past…
She was crying without saying any words…
And her first words was "I told him that I have boy friend..but he was so nice to me every day and he was near me always that is why....."
So I said...
"Hey, that's alright, You must have been very hard.. I just here to see you one more time...and to see your new boy friend if I deserve you think.

She said yes…In fact, he was waiting outside of café.

I said to her…Okay now you can go back home…don’t worry,,,it is not your fault….take care and good bey…

When she disappeared, His first words was "I did know she had a boy friend if I knew I didn't...."
When I heard that words, I did not want to talk with him anymore....

Just one thing I want to say to you.
"You and I are very lucky to love a nice girl but unfortunately that nice girl is the same girl, like two kits tangled into same tree. Isn’t it? Be good to her"


My Dear John letter story was ending and that night I came back to 원주 by train…to my squad.


On the train back to 원주..
I thought about my steps.....my steps in my life.....

One moment that much important thing…past by me and I could not reverse it, not by my efforts
It is not only about love or boyfriends/girl friend thing everything in my life.

When there is something in front of me, something to purse, I do my best.
But regardless its results, once it has passed by. It is over….it is history…

It is all depend on my step!

If my steps are too stick to past…I cannot go properly
If my steps are only staring the future… I cannot go either

Learn from the past…
Setting up the goal for the future
But you must be stepping on the ground of present!

Your step control!!!